I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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