Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is Oprah even human
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize