she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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