Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
