I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
