Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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