He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
