My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Terrible idea I love it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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