some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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