actually, I'm a sock model
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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