You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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