your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The maid of honor just puked.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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