I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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