Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize