But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
