turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize