Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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