love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
