So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
