Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
