mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize