My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
