My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
