i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
