she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Shame - the story of my life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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