she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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