HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
