Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
