I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
