Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This baby is an asshole
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
