Me too!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
