There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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