idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize