I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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