So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
