btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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