Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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