Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
