just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize