so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
