Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
