He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
