while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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