oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
