ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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