my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
