Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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