i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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