Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
