What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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