I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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