Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
