Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
