speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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