my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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