he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
