pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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