I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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