I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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