he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
