You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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