Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
