windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
