You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
