Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
