Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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