Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
