She said her name was "party"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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